Trying and failing and trying again.
Plus: an essay on AI, the perfect playlist for fall, and a worm in an apple car.
But Wait, There’s More is a weekly-ish newsletter by Lizzie Campbell (me!) a designer, artist, and blogger living in Chicago. Each week, paid and free subscribers will receive a roundup of things I read, watched, bought, or enjoyed that week. Paid subscribers will also receive extra posts, such as moodboards, long-form essays, shopping roundups, and other treasures. If you’re interested in supporting my caffeine addiction work, consider subscribing.
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Dear Friend,
This weekend I had one goal: to finally use the sewing machine I impulse-purchased earlier this summer.
Well, let’s be honest, my actual goal was to make the perfect cottagecore Heather Taylor-inspired gingham ruffled throw pillow. I’ve had the fabric in the bottom of my trust Ikea cabinet of hobbies for some time now, and finally this weekend it was time.
It started off great. I figured out the measurements. I cut out the fabric (look ma, no pattern!), I even conquered my fear of the iron and pressed everything out like I was supposed to.
I hemmed the two back pieces and created my two running stitches along the massive infinite loop of gingham that would become the ruffle. It was going perfectly.
Then it came time to actually make the ruffle. Okay, pull some threads, no big deal. Wrong. An hour, several broken threads, countless finger pinpricks, and lots of swearing later, I had some amalgamation of a ruffle pinned to the pillow pieces.
I forced myself to sew it all together, despite seeing how oddly misshapen it was. I could see where this was going and sure enough, by the time I turned it right side out, the ruffle had escaped the pillow cover in several spots, showing the ugly un-hemmed sides. It was decidedly not actually a square shape. And worst of all, I screwed up the back envelope bit so the longer part was over top of the shorter part, causing a weird gap.
I halfheartedly stuffed my pillow form in it, took one look at this lumpy monstrosity, and tossed it across the room. I was sweaty, my back was aching, and the process had taken a hell of a lot longer than the 15 minutes the tradwife blog tutorial had promised.
I was so disappointed, and my immediate impulse was to list the damn sewing machine on Facebook marketplace. I have always struggled with doing things that I’m not immediately great at. I know much has been said (and mocked) about the former gifted kid burnout experience but seriously, it’s a real kick in the clam.
But I took a deep breath and forced myself to think things through rationally. I learned a lot, I identified a lot of areas that I could improve upon, and the best part is that I still have enough of that fabric to make another one.
I took Sunday off, and came back to it Monday (thanks long weekend!). I pulled out all the stitches, re-measured and re-cut some pieces, and tried again.
And guess what? It’s not perfect. But I can put it on my couch without wanting to cry. It’s cute enough. I learned a lot about the process, and what I’d do differently next time, should I ever try to make one again.
I hate failing at anything. Sure, no one likes it. But I’ve lived with a deeply ingrained fear of failure and what it says about me as a person for several decades now. It’s held me back from doing things I think I would have enjoyed. Maybe even have excelled at eventually.
It’s really hard to rewire such a hard-coded part of your personality. But after 30 years, I’ve decided that I’m sick of letting the fear of failure hold me back from a fun new hobby or an exciting opportunity. So I’m going to keep trying, keep making messy progress, and hopefully come out on the other side with a new-found skill (and a dozen lumpy pillows).
Love always,
Required Reading
Articles, Substacks, books or Instagram captions I think you should read, presented largely without context.
Why AI Isn’t Going to Make Art by Ted Chiang
Hannah Connolly’s recent Substack that muses about the homogenization of popular culture - aka, why everyone is doing the same stuff constantly.
You Don’t Need to Document Everything by Freya India
to the girls playing taylor swift at the dive bar by Sarah Cucchiara
September Moodboard
Things I’m inspired by this month.
The Whoa-hoa-hoa-hoa-hoa season playlist on Spotify. It’s basically just the Twilight soundtracks, but honestly, what more do you need?
Kira Cyan’s new tarot deck. I’m not a tarot girlie, per se, I just really love the aesthetics and artwork that goes into decks. I full-on gasped when I saw her new deck for preorder. I’ve loved her artwork for ages and this deck has alllll the vintage design vibes that I’m here for.
@richardscarrylove on Instagram. This account mostly posts Richard Scarry’s gorgeous illustrations, and sometimes makes cutesy memes out of them. I love it.
The doll house of my dreams. Scratch that, I think this is actually just my dream house if it were a tad bit bigger. I know sooner or later I’m gonna pull the trigger on the dollhouse kit I’ve had sitting in my Etsy cart forever.
A decade ago I never would have believed you, but my most read subscription currently is to Country Living. The cottage-core trend has me in a chokehold.
Why do I, a graphic designer living in Chicago, suddenly feel compelled to buy a chore coat from LL Bean? The answer, per usual, is Tiktok, but honestly look how cute they are!
On My Nightstand
Penance by Eliza Clark
Salt & Stone’s Santal & Vetiver hand lotion
The Library candle by True Grace
Death Valley Nails polish in the shade Kissin’ Kate’s Rattlesnake Venom
