Too Much is Never Enough

My decade as a failed influencer.

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I’m sitting in the backseat of an Uber with my friend, heading home from brunch. As the car makes its slow journey over the Chicago river, I reflexively check Instagram. To my surprise, I’ve gained several followers – like, a LOT of followers.

For the next couple hours, every time I check my phone, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of new followers. I watch as the total follower count on my page ticks up and up and up until finally, finally, with a giddy, manic sense of ecstasy, I watch it tick over the threshold of that coveted number – 10,000 followers.

My initial attempts to understand why I’d been showered with followers were fruitless. For a moment, I’m afraid that I’ve been spammed with bot accounts, but they look real enough. I finally decide to ask a couple of my new followers where they were coming from, and to my utter shock, the answer is – Sarah Hyland?

The Modern Family actress had reposted a “this or that…